This is by far the best evening I’ve had, mental wise, in the last 15 days since my diagnosis.
A few hours ago, I worked up the confidence to call the nurse navigator at the cancer center I am being treated at. I needed to hear about the MRI tests. Since Tuesday, I had been fighting the urge to call them just so I can hear that nothing (or something else) is wrong. After yesterday’s good news trip to the dermatologists that I DO NOT in fact have a skin malignancy, I was ready for equally good news today.
At around 3 p.m. EST, I called and asked if there was any inkling as to what the MRI tests showed. The nurse navigator answered her “work cell phone” immediately and was sympathetic. She told me she would try to reach the oncology surgeon but he had been in surgeries since morning so she wasn’t sure if he would be available yet.
Since today is Friday, I resigned myself to the fact that I probably wouldn’t hear anything back until Monday. But no more than 15 minutes after I spoke with the nurse navigator, the surgeon called.
Seeing the phone number with the health system’s prefix, I answered, nervous and shaking.
“Ms. Jones? How are you holding up? ” He asked.
Jeez Dr. B, how do ya think I am doing. You’ve been holding out on my MRI results, I thought.
But to him I say, “Good, how about you?”
He’s well, he says and jumps right into said results. “I have the results and nothing is different than what we previously discussed.”
“Oh my God! Thank you, Doctor B!,” I say as I let out a big whoosh of breath I wasn’t aware I was even holding.
Listen, I know a lot of people don’t believe in God, but I do. I am not God-obsessed, but I do realize that we didn’t just get to exist in this world without a higher power. I talk to Him (not a she in my book) several times a day and in the last two weeks, I’ve talked to Him a bajillion trillion times a day, asking him to spare my life so I could raise my children to adulthood. So yes, I thanked God for answering my prayers and I thanked Dr. B, as well, for the good report.
Dr. B said the surgery scheduler ( I forget the title he used) he works with (Kim) was out for the week and he already had my information ready for her when she came back in Monday so she could work on scheduling my surgery.
The rest of the conversation was mundane and we bid farewell shortly thereafter. I almost dialed my mom’s number to let her know the good news but then I remembered that my kids were upstairs and typically eavesdrop on my conversations. Especially since they think I have a boyfriend after I told them in September that their dad and I decided to separate again.
So I tabled letting my mom know the MRI test results until I made my way to her house. My daughter wanted me to take her to the hair store to get some hair for braiding, so I figured I could drop by before heading back to our apartment.
I was practically soaring as we completed our errands. My mom was happy with the news. We seemed to be of the accord that every victory must be celebrated. We discussed the surgery and agreed that a mastectomy was probably the better option for me, just for peace of mind and not having to worry about a recurrence.
After the short visit with my mom, my kids and I had dinner and this time I actually enjoyed my meal and even had dessert– a slice of German chocolate cake from my birthday that we had saved. The thought I saved it in the freezer because I am on a diet but the reality was that I was scared to eat it. I’ve heard a great deal of scary stuff about cancer loving sugar. I am still educating myself on the best diet for this thing. Meanwhile, I am just happy I have lost a few pounds (8) in the process, notwithstanding the stressful reason why.
So I get to have a blissful Friday with my children, minus the wine I’ve always enjoyed, of course. But It’s shaping out to be a great weekend.
Monday will bring what it brings, but for now, I am content.